Sludge Alert

There is a sludge alert forecast for Saturday of next week. As usual, everyone needs to stay indoors and keep all windows and doors closed. Some specifics about this sludge:

- It is a horizontal sludge, so covering chimneys is not necessary.
- It is a non-toxic sludge, so it's OK if your windows and doors leak a little.
- It is a heavy sludge, so large windows should be covered with plywood.
- It is a slow sludge, so the build-up will not be complete until evening.
- The sludge will metamorphose at night, therefore the sludgeworms that it produces will be nocturnal. We will not need to exterminate them, as we did with the previous 112 diurnal sludges.

Sharp clicking sounds and sugary bait will draw the sludgeworms to their colony site in the forest south of Highway 306 near the abandoned Flying A gas station. This will be the first nocturnal sludgeworm colony to be started in this county for over 50 years. A team is now preparing the site, no volunteers are needed. We are very excited about this new colony; no currently active Foster County sludgeworm managers have had the opportunity to work with a fresh batch of sludgeworms.

O brand new sludgeworms
With your sparkling new ideas
So eager to share your thoughts
Even though you can't see us

Even though you know nothing of us
You come to us with open cilia
Singing, in your own dear way
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

We anticipate a large colony from the very start. If you have experience in sludgeworm management, or want to start a career working with sludgeworms, whether that be husbandry, education, or mining the rich load that is sludgeworm philosophy, contact the Foster County Department of Sludge. The sludgeworms are upon us! Glory hallelujah!

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