Listed
alphabetically according to album
Gigantic Spoons
What My Neighbor's Cooking
A Goat Came in My
Window
Don't Make Me Talk
Doughnut Land
Head on the Ground
If I Was God
Let's Go
Walking in the Parking Lot
Old Friends on the
Mountain
Polk County Dump Boar
Santa Dancing
Naked on the Beach
Stranded on
the Planet of Gigantic Spoons
Today I Got Out of Bed
A goat came in my window
Hung his hat up in the hall
His horns poked a whole bunch of holes in my wall
That made me worried
My peace of mind is gone
So if a goat comes in your window
Make sure he keeps his hat on
A goat came in my window
Put his shoes beside the door
His feet poked a whole bunch of holes in my floor
That made me nervous
My peace of mind is gone
So if a goat comes in your window
Make sure he keeps his shoes on
A goat came in my window
All sad and morose
I was having a little party
He just sat there like a ghost
He ruined my party
Now all my guests are gone
So if a goat comes in your window
Make sure he’s got his groove on
A goat came in my window
So I banged him on the head
I barbecued and ate him
With some garlic bread
He was delicious
My worried days are gone
So if a goat comes in your window
Make sure you’ve got your grill on
Little bitty babies
They babble and they burble
They gabble and they gurble to the folks who encircle
But when I was a baby
I was a quiet little sprout because
Too much baby talking got me all burned out
Don't make me talk
Don't make me talk
Don't make me talk
Don't make me talk
My Mama said he's a very smart boy
Daddy said but he sure is quiet
Doctor says I don't know if it's wrong but it don't seem
right
Come on little buddy
Get out of your shell
They say welcome to the world and I say welcome to hell
Don't make me talk (x4)
Now I'm all grown up and I can talk real good
I can yammer yammer yammer like I know I should
But it's a cardio workout humping all those words
I'm hitting the wall and feeling the burn
So if you see me at a party curled up in a crouch
With a Nat Geographic all alone on the couch
Don't worry I'm fine I'm fine I'm happy I'm stable
I'll rejoin the conversation just as soon as I am able
Don't make me talk (x4)
Do you want
To hear me talk
You say you want
To hear me talk
You say your dying
To hear me talk
Are you sure you want
To hear me talk
Well, OK
Do you want to hear me talk OK I'll talk
But you might be in for kind of a shock
Cause we're gonna go deep inside my head
Hold on tight full speed ahead
Let me tell you about a thing I found on a rock
It was hiding underneath a hole in a sock
It was soft green kind of stinky
Big around as a monkey's pinkie
It did a little dance it went up down
Side to side and back around
It laid down flat and vibrated
And on a whim I ate it
Well I had a vision very strange
I was all alone on a barren plain
And I saw my face in a rainbow
And it spoke to me real low it said
Come join me in the fog
Come join me in the fog
Come join me in the fog
Come join me in the fog
Take my hand in the fog
Take my hand in the fog
Lie down in the fog
Lie down in the fog
So quiet in the fog
So quiet in the fog
So quiet in the fog
Don't make me talk in the fog
Don't make me talk in the fog
Don't make me talk in the fog
Don't make me talk
I broke my toe because I didn't
know
About the log lying on the floor
And I skinned my shin on a piece of tin
Sticking out of the hospital door
Broken bottles and broken dishes
Beaks on birds and spines on fishes
Rusty needles and rusty broken springs
I'm tired of hard pokey things
I'm going to float through the air on my big comfy chair
To the land over there with no corners on squares
No splinters in chairs no teeth in the bears
And everything is soft and round like a doughnut
The squeal of a rat or maybe a bat
Disturbed my dreams last night
And out in the dark bark bark bark bark bark bark
And the wail of cats in a fight
A window breaking down the street at the bar
Alarm alarm alarm alarm from a car
Yammered bad grammar from the roof where the boys is
I'm tired of hard pokey noises
I'm going to float through the air on my big comfy chair
To the land over there with no horns that blare
No squeaks in the stairs all tom-toms no snares
And all the noises are soft and round like a mouse chewing
on a doughnut
An ideologue with an unleashed dog
Threw his cigarette on the forest floor
Oh that vindictive liar he started a fire
Now he's richer than ever before
Vampire bureaucrats and troglodyte relatives
Whiny fundamentalists and grifting executives
I don't mean to judge I don't mean to speak ill
But I'm tired of hard pokey people
I'm going to float through the air on my big comfy chair
To the land over there with peace and love everywhere
Where a plump concierge serves you milk and stewed pears
And all the people are soft and round
Cause they all just sit around and eat doughnuts
I met a gal as old as I
She said honey before I die
I want someone to fly me to the moon
I said listen I ain’t lying
Looks to me you’re already dying
We better start that flying real soon
Head in the air
Feet on the ground
We ain't going nowhere
So let’s mess around
Head on the ground
Feet in the air
Oh pull my hair, honey pie yes indeed
And say a little prayer for the young folks
She said I ain’t sticking around
I’m about to leave this town
I’ve got to dig a hole down to the moon
I said honey I ain’t kidding
Down the slope we both are skidding
We better start that digging real soon
Head in the air
Feet on the ground
We ain't going nowhere
So let’s mess around
Head on the ground
Feet in the air
Oh pull my hair, honey pie yes indeed
And say a little prayer for the young folks
Well if you want to be my friend
Stick with me until the end
Squeeze me, and send me to the moon
I ain’t nothing but a geezer
My next home is in the freezer
We better start that squeezing real soon
Head in the air
Feet on the ground
We ain't going nowhere
So let’s mess around
Head on the ground
Feet in the air
Oh pull my hair, honey pie yes indeed
And say a little prayer for the young folks
If I woke up one morning
And I found out I was god
I'd gather together all the people in the world
And I'd turn them all into dogs
And they'd go woof woof woof
They'd go bow wow wow
They'd go howl
And they would stop talking
People talk and talk and talk and talk
Til I'm about to go out of my mind
If I turned them all into dogs
We'd get along just fine
And they'd go arf arf arf
An the little ones would go yip yip yap
They'd go howl
And we'd get along fine
But if I turned them all into dogs
That might be going too far
So instead I think I'll turn everybody
Into guitars
And they'd go (guitar)
And the little ones would go (guitar)
They'd go (guitar)
Wouldn't that sound fine
Well I woke up this morning
And I found out I was god
Well I didn't want to bother anybody
So I turned myself into a dog
And now I go bow wow wow
I go woof woof woof
And I go howl
And then I eat some road kill
Let's Go Walking in the Parking Lot
Let's go walking in the parking
lot
We paved paradise so that's what we've got
We''ll set down our blanket and our bottle of wine
All across spaces G8 and G9
There's plenty of room in the parking lot
Because it covers at least a thousand square blocks
Together in nature we'll forget all our troubles
And we'll poke at the asphalt when the sun makes it bubble
There's so much to do we'll never get bored
We'll get high on the fumes from Chevys and Fords
There's something for everyone young and old
And here are a few of the sights to behold
The glorious glistening of a billion broken bottles
The shimmering snowbanks of cups from McDonald's
The flitting and frolicking hamburger wrappers
The olfactory wonder of a thousand used diapers
The hidden mosaic in a puddle of vomit
The love left behind in a rainbow of condoms
The trickster coyote in it's last dying grin
The goggle-eyed joy of a rat with a syringe
Let's go walking in the parking lot
On our way to the grocery shop
We've seen the rubble that was Rome
So we'll leave the car at home
We'll leave the car at home
Let's go walking in the parking lot
We paved paradise but that's not all we've got
We could go for a picnic at the sewage plant
A favorite of the kids, gramma, and gramps
Or we could find a quiet corner in the wrecking yard
We can be all alone if we bribe the guard
The oil refinery is known for romance
But you need reservations six months in advance
We could put on our hazmat suits and go to the beach
Where the seagulls growl and the clamdogs screech
Or we can go to the landfill just you and me
And climb to the top and look down to see
The graceful meandering of fresh sewage muck
The whimsical lurching of a bullet-riddled truck
The beguiling bubbling of sulfur mine tailings
The sparkling black blood of diseased whales wailing
The phantasmal glowing of atmospheric waste
The rain of dead aliens from outer space
The growing black shadow of an asteroid from afar
The spasmodic twitching of a rotten dying star
Let's go walking in the parking lot
On our way to the grocery shop
We've seen the rubble that was Rome
So we'll leave the car at home
We'll leave the car at home
Leave the car at home
Oh this wretched life said the
eagle
As it landed on the mountain top
Every day I gotta eat this human's liver
And it never ever ever ever stops
Oh never mind me said Prometheus
As the eagle tore open his flesh
Go on and gobble my gaping guts
And leave behind a mess
Look on the bright side said the eagle
Santa Claus is standing by
He'll clean up the blood and the bile and the bits
And wash your abdomen and thighs
You know the eagle has a point said Santa
But I can only be here in the summer
Damn those kids and their toys said Prometheus
Christmas is such a bummer
Old friends on the mountain
On a bright and sunny day
Sharing their eternal burdens
While the eons slip away
Good morning everybody
Said Sisyphus from down below
Hey now it's a party said Prometheus
And Santa said ho ho ho
Wadja bring to eat said Santa
Deepfried eggrolls said Sisyphus
But I ran them over with my rolling stone
So now they're kind of mushed
I'm happy to share this here liver
Said the eagle with a grin
You ought to take some home to Mrs. Santa
It's loaded with vitamins
Oh I guess I forgot to tell you the news
Said Santa Claus with a frown
Mrs. Santa she up and left me
And I closed the damned workshop down
Old friends on the mountain
On a bright and sunny day
Sharing their eternal burdens
While the eons slip away
I made a deal with China said Santa
They'll deliver all those damn toys
I'm going to spend full time on the mountain
To be with the eagle and my boys
I'll mix up some pina coladas
We'll have a big ol' liver luau
And we'll dance the Santa Claus hula
And I'll teach it to you now
Align your spine with what's left of your mind
Spin around on your nose and wiggle your toes
Shake your waist and shimmy your medulla
Now you're doing the Santa Claus hula
Yo-dee-ho-dee-ho-dee-ho-dee-hey
Yo-dee-ho-dee-ho-dee-ho-dee-hey
This is a song about a pig.
A male pig, a dude pig.
The scientific name for a dude pig is a boar
And this boar, he lived at the county dump, in Polk
county, Florida
So you put all that together and you get a
Polk county dump boar
Polk county dump boar
He was a Polk county dump boar
He ain't nothing but a Polk county dump boar
Now the polk county dump boar is kind of a wreck
But he lives in a dump so what do you expect
He’s got worms crawling out of his ears
He’s big and hairy and he smells like beer
He’s the kind of pig only a mother could love
But at night he gazes at the heavens above
He sees the stars and moons and the planets and the comets
And he wonders what happened to the cosmic promise
Yes he wonders how the heck in a world so big
He ended up as a pig he ain’t nothing but a
Polk county dump boar
Polk county dump boar
He was a Polk county dump boar
He ain't nothing but a Polk county dump boar
Now the polk county dump boar he had a dream
And in this dream he was a loving machine
He had pink satin suit and a pompadour
And a bottle of gin and he liked to pour
A dry martini for every sow
And a gin and tonic for every cow
‘Cause he was such a fine lover that the cows were
confused
They thought he was a bull and he couldn’t refuse
But all the people at the dump now they all swore
That he wasn’t just a pig he was so much more
He was a Polk county dump boar
A Polk county dump boar
He was a Polk county dump boar
He ain't nothing but a Polk county dump boar
Now speaking of sows and cows and such
Here’s a little sumpthin that you don’t hear much
There’s a joint named Schrodinger’s barbecue
It’s down on Copenhagen Avenue
Now this Schrodinger was a very smart cat
He talked about locality and stuff like that
If you want to know what he’s cooking in his pot
Well it all depends on if you’re looking or not
Is it a cow or a sow that you’ll eat that night
You don’t know until you take a bite but it might be a
Polk county dump boar
Polk county dump boar
Polk county dump boar
Polk county dump boar
He was a ugh polk county hah polk
county good gawd polk county
Polk county dump boar
Funky polk county ugh polk county hey polk county
Polk county dump boar
Polk polk polk polk
Polk polk Polk county dump boar
Polk polk polk polk
Polk polk Polk county dump boar
Outro: Friendly conversation with a pig
Santa
Dancing Naked on the Beach
We saw Santa dancing naked on the
beach
He was Santa on the loose he was Santa unleashed
Rocking and rolling an hour past midnight
His big sweaty body glistening in the moonlight
The phosphorescent dynoflagellates
Silhouetted his graceful plies
The fat gibbous moon illuminated
The glory of his grand jetes
We took it as a sign that we should change our ways
And live a better life for the rest of our days
We told him we were through with that jiving and messing
And he said let me give you some dancing lessons
Wuh huh huh - Ho ho ho
Wuh huh huh - Ho ho ho
Lesson number one don't worry about your mind
It's OK to be a little bit out of align
Wuh huh huh - Ho ho ho
Lesson number two don't worry about your body
It's OK to be all baggy and shoddy
Uh huh - Ho ho ho
Lesson number three don't worry about your soul
You can grow back a new one if it gets a little old
Wuh huh huh - Ho ho ho
Now let's put it all together
Ho ho ho
Let's make it all clear
Ha ha ha
Find your true self
Hee hee hee
Like an ant looking in the mirror
Let's take mindfulness
All the way to mindless
Let's take enlightenment
All the way to blindness
A brand new world is within our reach
With Santa dancing naked on the beach
At midnight
Santa dancing naked on the beach
In the starlight
Santa dancing naked on the beach
Doing the moonwalk
Santa dancing naked on the beach
Watch him rock now
Lesson number four now look within
Disengage your dogma and watch it spin
Wuh uh huh - Ho ho ho
Lesson number five now look without
Your mandala is a muscle now work it on out
Wuh uh huh - Ho ho ho
Lesson number six if you want some more
Spin around on your aura all over the floor
Wuh uh huh - Ho ho ho
Let's put it all together
Ho ho ho
If you manage to survive
Ha ha ha
Reconnoiter the connoiter
Hee hee hee
Of the days remaining in your life
Let's take mindfulness
All the way to mindless
Let's take enlightenment
All the way to blindness
A brand new world is within our reach
With Santa dancing naked on the beach
He's got a nose ring
Santa dancing naked on the beach
Aqua mohawk
Santa dancing naked on the beach
Purple eyebrows
Santa dancing naked on the beach
Mango toenails
Santa dancing naked on the beach
Fuscia lipstick
Santa dancing naked on the beach
Break it down now
A little old man
All round and rosy
Getting funky in the surf
Eating raw anchovies
Arthritic legs
All bony and blotchy
Scissoring and kicking
Like nobody's watching
Head in the stars
Serenity in motion
One with the universe
Child of the ocean
Pink light beaming
From his shining eyes
Radiating love
Into the moonlit sky
Well he tried to teach us
How to dance
But his dancing lessons
Didn't make no sense
There was something bout a dog
Or dogma in the air
We don't remember
But we don't care
Because we know a new world
Is within our reach
With Santa dancing naked on the beach
Ho ho ho
Naked on the beach
Ho ho ho
Naked on the beach
(Repeat followed by chaos)
Stranded on the Planet of Gigantic Spoons
I'm stranded on the planet of
gigantic spoons
I don't think that I am going to get away soon
People on this planet are made of spiky angles
They crash into each other and the broken parts dangle
They crash into me and I get pierced in the heart
By alien broken body parts
I'm stranded on the planet of gigantic spoons
I'm trying my best to make it my home
Sometimes it's great, sometimes it's gruesome
Me and this planet don't make a good twosome
People on this planet have eyes like turtles
They shoot purple laser beams I gotta jump em like hurdles
I try to look away but they grab me by the chin
Until I look into their eyes and see the program within
I'm stranded on the planet of gigantic spoons
I'm trying my best to make it my home
Sometimes it's alright sometimes it's all wrong
Me and this planet can't seem to get along
People on this planet they love to shmooze
They talk and talk and talk until their tongues are
bruised
Their words congeal into blind naked gerbils
They crawl into my mouth and I am rendered non-verbal
I'm stranded on the planet of gigantic spoons
I'm trying my best to make it my home
Sometimes I fit in, sometimes I don't
Sometimes I wish this planet would leave me alone
People on this planet stomp their feet when they eat
Their plates are big as tires and they're made of concrete
Their forks are carved from the thigh bones of cows
And their spoons weigh twenty-seven pounds
I'm stranded on the planet of gigantic spoons
I'm trying my best to make it my home
I'll never understand these alien ways
It's a world of wonder something new every day
I've been speaking metaphorically
I think you know that
But now I'm going to tell you
Where I'm really at
What I really want to talk about is clams
Specifically, how a clam eats
Well they use a kind of siphon I think that's pretty neat
But it really tickles when they lick my feet
That's why I always walk in the middle of the street
Did I just make this weird
Excuse me while I disappear
But I would love to hang out and I hope it's soon
But don't be surprised if I bring my own spoon
I'm sacked out on my couch
Watching a fly crawl down the wall
And what have I done all day
Well I guess that's just about all
Yes, I'm a loser
That's what my friends all said
But I'm proclaiming myself a winner
Cause today I got out of bed
I'm not going anywhere today
Fact is I don't get out that much
I'm not much for conversation
Cause I'm a little out of touch
I'm a deadbeat going nowhere
That's what my sister said
But today I took a great journey
Today I got out of bed
I don't have any money
No account at Charles Schwab
No car no phone no TV set
No Internet no job
Yes I'm a bum
That's what mother said
But I'm making Mama proud
Today I got out of bed
So I'm happy to just sit here
With my friend the lazy fly
We're not getting anywhere
But at least we're getting by
I'm a loser, a bum, a deadbeat
That's what everybody says
But today that's not me
Cause today I got out of bed
Well that might be me tomorrow
But today I got out of bed
What My Neighbor's Cooking
Echo of a Hidey-Ho
All the Feels for Realz
The Sludgeworm
Cluck Old Hen
Thirteen Women Dressed in Black
Honeybear Polka
I'm Alive
Down in the Dirt
The Thing in the Mud
The Birds Nobody Wants Heard
I don't know my neighbors don't know where they're from
But I can smell what they're cooking and I want some
I don't know if it's prawns or a stew or a slaw
Or falafel or a waffle or gaspacho or nachos or noodles or
strudles
but it smells like it's getting to be just about a pwa - that
means done
I want a little taste of what my neighbor's cooking
Just a little bitty taste of what my neighbor's cooking
Might be a greasy Alabama fondue
Or a coconut and honey Havana crab stew
Or a corn bread suaerkraut sausage sandwich
That's made from a bean
That grows on a tree
That lives in a land
Far across the sea
Where the meadows are sunny
And the ground leaks honey
And we call the bean a bean
But it's known as a Hoodly doddly widdly bop de boo
In the old world language
I want a little taste of what my neighbor's cooking
Just a little bitty taste of what my neighbor's cooking
My stomach is flexing and getting all ready
Teeth were grinding now they're holding steady
Gastric juices flowing up to my hair
It's all systems go from my lips to my tongue to my throat to my
stomach
to the stuff that's way down there
I want a little taste of what my neighbor's cooking
Just a little bitty taste of what my neighbor's cooking
You might think I'm crazy but I'm not the only one
Who wants a little taste when the cooking's done
The whole town is gathered with their mouths all lathered
The trucks have arrived from Channel 5
Anderson Cooper he's got the scoop going on and on and on with a
whole a lot of blather
I want a little taste of what my neighbor's cooking
Just a little bitty taste of what my neighbor's cooking
I don't know my neighbors don't know where they're from
But I can smell what they're cooking and I want some
My eyes are bugging out and I'm drooling down my chin
Now I'm knocking on their door and I'm hoping and I'm hoping yes
I'm hoping that they let me in
I want a little taste of what my neighbor's cooking
Just a little bitty taste
Or maybe a plate or a great big bowl
Whatever it is I'm gonna eat it whole
I don't mean to shout but I just wanna pig out
on what my neighbor's cooking
I walked the straight and narrow but I got lost in a fog
I tried to hi-dee-ho but I whined like a dog
A hokey old yarn tired of being spun
There's more ways to live than one
Oh hi-dee-ho
Oh hi-dee-hay
There's more ways to live than one
Kept my nose to the grindstone til I no longer cared
I tried to hi-dee-ho but I grumbled like a bear
A shaggy dog story looking to be done
There's more ways to live than one
Oh hi-dee-ho
Hidey hidey hidey hey
There's more ways to live than one
It wasn't long ago that the world was ours
Now we're walking away but we haven't gone too far
Cause when we look back we can still see a glow
And we can still hear the echo of a hi-dee-ho
Oh hi-dee-ho
Yodel oh hee hoo
We can still hear the echo of a hi-dee-hi-dee-ho
I danced across the meadow then I fell down on the rocks
I tried to hi-dee-ho but I moaned like an ox
A planet all alone looking for a new sun
There's more ways to live than one
Oh hi-dee-ho Ja vo ja vo
There's more ways to live than one
I held it all together until it all fell apart
I tried to hi-dee-ho but I sneered like a shark
An evening prayer looking for a new nun
There's more ways to live than one
Oh hi-dee-ho ay yi yi yi
There's more ways to live than one
It wasn't long ago that the world was ours
Now we're walking away but we haven't gone too far
Cause when we look back we can still see a glow
And we can still hear the echo of a hi-dee-ho
Oh hi-dee-ho
Oh scoodley oodley oo
We can still hear the echo of a hi-dee-hi-dee-ho
My day started bad
And then it got worse
I got in a car wreck
With a hearse
The whole funeral procession piled up
Shut down a twelve lane freeway
I had to walk home I got bit by a dog
Like I said, a bad day
I've got all the feels for realz
I'm gonna go home and find some way to heal
I got home and my house had been robbed
Man, they took almost everything
They left a note on my sofa
Said it was too ugly to bring
They left a scratched up Teflon frying pan
And a crusty old fly swatter
So I had a fried egg for dinner
And a glass of water
I've got all the feels for realz
I'm gonna go to bed and find some way to heal
The next morning my house was all burnt up
And I was just a flake of ash on the loose
So I caught a breeze and flew away through time and space
To Saint Louis Missouri 1932
To a hot room where a woman sang the blues
Man, she sang for all she could get
And I, the little speck of ash, floated down and landed her neck
And dissolved into her sweat
I've got all the feels for realz
I'll do just about anything to find a way to heal
I shared my little drop of sweat
With an ex-soldier named Bjorn
He'd been burnt to a crisp
At the battle of Little Big Horn
There's a whole lot of people out there
Just drifting around through time and space
Until by chance and good fortune
They find a better place
I've got all the feels for realz
But somehow someway I will find some way to heal
It's a world of contradictions
I can't tell truth from fiction
But on my phone
Was a message clear and kind
It said tap this button
If you feel like you're losing your mind
I tapped the button
I heard a thumping on my door
It was the sludgeworm
Looming like a dinosaur
A rosey perfume fog
Seeped into my eyes
Permeated my skin
My soul body and mind
The sludgeworm
Drew me near
Stroked my hair
Stuck its tongue in my ear
Spurting sludge to my brain
From its throbbing mucus bladder
Now what is truth or fiction
Well that no longer matters
That no longer matters
O sludgeworm my sludgeworm
Towering above us
Lick us all from head to toe
And love us love us love us
Stroke us with your slippery tongue
Taste us smell us feel us
And with your slime blind our minds
And free us free us free us
Ohhhh please free us
Ohhhhh please love us
Oooooo please free us
Oooooo please love us
Who do you call when you feel like a baby on a rock
The sludgeworm
Who's got your back when you feel like a hole in a sock
The sludgeworm
Who's always there when your mind is a broken crayon
The sludgeworm
Who turns the page when you don't like the story you're based on
The sludgeworm
Oh sludgeworm my sludgeworm
With your eyes so clear and cruel
Burn and grind our splintered minds
And heal us with your drool
Fracture our foundations
Bury us in the rubble
Free us with your sparkling slobber
Love us with your cuddles
Ohhhh please free us
Ohhhhh please love us
Oooooo please free us
Oooooo please love us
My old hen clucks all day long from dawn till setting sun
I'll bet my farm and my right arm she's the cluckinest hen around
Cluck old hen, cluck all day
Cluck old hen, cluck all day
I shuck my corn and I find a worm in every corn I shuck
I feed those worms to my hen and then they sure 'nuff make her
cluck
Cluck old hen, cluck all day
Cluck old hen, cluck all day
She gets nervous when her eggs won't service yes she cackles and
she frowns
Throw her a worm you can bet that turns her cackle upside down
Cluck old hen, cluck all day
Cluck old hen, cluck all day
A worm a day keeps the cackles away least-wise says my old hen
Well I don't know but I've been told it's the same with women and
men
Cluck old hen, cluck all day
Cluck old hen, cluck all day
Well times are getting tough, things are real rough I just can't
get a break
So I'm gonna try eating worms cause I sure can't afford no steak
Cluck old hen, cluck all day
Cluck old hen, cluck all day
Well I don't know what's wrong with this song it sure took a funny
turn
Started out about my hen and in the end it's all about the worms
Cluck old hen, cluck all day
Cluck old hen, cluck all day
As I was sleeping late one night
I woke up to such a fright
My room was cold and dark and damp
I reached up turned on the lamp
Around my bed I saw a pack
Of thirteen women dressed in black
Their lips were red their eyes were green
They had more curves than I ever seen
Their legs were long their dresses tight
Their eyes were gleaming in the night
Their ruby lips were going smack smack smack smack
Those thirteen women dressed in black
They gathered round me in a ring
Raised their arms began to sing
Their language I could not discern
But even so my ears were burned
I got the feeling they were wacked
Those thirteen women dressed in black
Their lips were wine, their skin was milk
Their dresses made of finest silk
On every finger was a ring
Precious jewels and everything
But I heard their knuckles going crack crack crack
Those thirteen women dressed in black,
They poured some hot sauce on me thick
And then they beat me with a stick
And all at once I realized
That I was being tenderized
I was a tasty midnight snack
For thirteen women dressed in black
Their knives were sharp their forks were long
Their fingers white their arms were strong
Their butcher cleavers gleaming bright
Their eyes were burning in the night
Their pointy teeth were going clack clack clack
Those thirteen women dressed in black
The tallest one approached my bed
She pinched my arm, she whapped my head
And then she said in a voice so cold
Forget it girls, this ones too old
Guess you could say I’d been thrown back
By thirteen women dressed in black
Their lips were red their eyes were green
They had more curves than I ever seen
Their legs were long their dresses tight
Their eyes were gleaming in the night
And I sure hope they don’t come back
Those thirteen women dressed in black
Yes I sure hope they don’t come back
Those thirteen women dressed in black
I’m just a rambler
On down the line
But all the ladies
They think I’m fine
I got no food
Got nothing to eat
But all the ladies
They think I’m sweet
When I wander into town
With my suspenders hanging down
And the honey bears licking on my feet
Oh yeah I got the honey bears licking on my feet
I got no food
Got nothing to eat
But all the ladies
They think I’m sweet
I got no dough
Ain't got no bread
But all the ladies
Want me to wed
When I wander into town
With my suspenders hanging down
And the honey bears licking on my head
Oh yea I got the honey bears licking on my head
I got no dough
Ain't got no bread
But all the ladies
Want me to wed
I ain’t no talker
I ain’t no singer
But all the ladies
Want me to linger
When I wander into town
With my suspenders hanging down
And the honey bears licking on my finger
Oh yeah I got the honey bears licking on my finger
I ain’t no talker
I ain’t no singer
But all the ladies
Want me to linger
I got no car
No fancy clothes
But all the ladies
Know where I goes
When I wander into town
With my suspenders hanging down
And the honey bears licking on my toes
Oh yeah I got the honey bears licking on my toes
I’m just a rambler
On down the line
But all the ladies
They think I’m fine
But all the men
Don’t want me there
So all the ladies
Sneak off somewhere
And we have ourselves a ball
And I hug and kiss them all
With the honeybears licking everywhere
Oh yeah I got the honeybears licking everywhere
Oh yeah those little honeybears licking everywhere
The moon yelled at me all night
Full of anger full of spite
Screaming up there in the mist
I tell you man that moon was really pissed
It didn't want to pick a fight
It wasn't trying to set things right
That moon just wanted to be heard
Shouting these two words
I'm Alive
I'm Alive
I'm Alive
I'm Alive
Well I tell you what I could relate
To that moon's disgruntled state
I've felt alone in outer space
With great big boots stomping all over my face
But that old moon got real annoying
After a while it was soul destroying
I got real tired of that moon complaining
I got real sick of it saying
I'm Alive
I'm Alive
I'm Alive
I'm Alive
I said listen here moon you're not alive
I'm tired of hearing your no-good jive
You got no brain, you can't talk
You ain't nothing but a lifeless worthless heartless rock
Well I think that was something I shouldn't have said
Because the moon threw a meteor at my head
And another and another it wanted me dead
And with every throw it said
I'm Alive
I'm Alive
I'm Alive
I'm Alive
I bled and bled oh how I bled
They found me on the ground thought I was dead
They took me straight down to the morgue
And they laid me out in a cold steel drawer
There I lay in the freezing dark
I was almost gone but for a little spark
I felt myself fading like a dream
But with all my will I screamed
I'm Alive
I'm Alive
I'm Alive
I'm Alive
I'm going to be a while in this hospital bed
That moon did a number on my head
They're still picking moon rocks out of my brain
But there will come a day when at last I can walk again
Now I talk to the moon most every night
It regrets its behavior wants to set things right
We're going to meet up in the desert when I get out
Way way out on a secret route
Where the baby moonlets dance about
And together we will shout
I'm Alive
I'm Alive
I'm Alive
I'm Alive
If you have no cash you can’t compete
And if you have no sugar you can’t be sweet
If your tongue's not silver don’t bother to talk
And if your slippers aren't gold don’t bother to walk
And if your smile's not sunny don’t bother to flirt
Come on and get chummy down here in the dirt
Down in the dirt
Down in the dirt
If you have no home you can’t be evicted
If you have no name you can’t be convicted
If’ you’re going nowhere you can’t be restricted
If you just don’t care you can’t be conflicted
And if you have no clothes, you can’t lose your shirt
Well that’s how it goes down here in the dirt.
Down in the dirt
Down in the dirt
If you don’t eat your breakfast, you don’t get any lunch
One banana doesn't make a bunch
If you don’t eat your lunch you don’t get any dinner
One little yodel doesn't make you a singer
If you don’t eat your dinner, you don’t get dessert
Everybody's getting thinner down here in the dirt
Down in the dirt
Down in the dirt
If your time is running out, there’s no need to worry
Down in the dirt, nobody's in a hurry
If your flame is fading, no need for concern
Down in the dirt, we're all gonna burn
If your faith is failing, no need to convert
We’re all good at faking down here in the dirt
I found a sad looking thing by the creek in the mud
I took it home and I fed it a spud
We talked about life and truth and love
And a good relationship and the meaning thereof
And the thing in the mud it told me a story
It had no heroics it had no glory
It had no moral it had no point
Just a story about a thing in the mud feeling out of joint
I said feeling out of joint? How can that be?
Living in the mud sounds good to me
And the thing said yes that is mostly true
But even down in the mud a thing can still get blue
And I get mad and I get sad and feel like life is just a game
And I said my goodness that's a crying shame
And the thing said about them spuds you got any more
So I peeled twenty spuds and put them down on the floor
The thing in the mud, the thing in the mud
It sure like spuds the little thing in the mud
After a whole lot of slurping the thing looked up
It said life is weird and I said yup
It said have you ever wondered what it's like to be a crow
And well that was kind of random so I said no
And the thing in the mud it told me a story
About a hungry crow and it was really kind of gory
Cause crows you understand they eat things in the mud
And a visit from a crow means death and carnage and blood
The thing said do crows kill people too
I said people kill people that's kind of what we do
The thing said people killing people what is up with that?
I mean life is weird but man that is wacked
You know down in the mud us things don't hurt each other
I mean sure we get mad at a neighbor or a lover
But when we get upset we go way up in the mud
And someone like you takes us home and feeds us spuds... say, ya
got any more?
The thing in the mud, the thing in the mud
Have another spud you little thing in the mud
Well after the thing had finished its meal
It did a little dance that was something to see
It was slow it was slinky I got heavy in the eyes
And before I knew it I was hypnotized
And the thing in the mud well it told me a story
And I fell fast asleep cause the story was kind of boring
And the thing in the mud snuck into my dream
And showed me that life isn't always what it seems
It said it's way past time you humans came aware
That what you think you are is not really there
And where you think you're going is really somewhere else
And that's real good to know for your societal health
And when I woke up I was feeling kind of frightened
Cause I don't know about you but I don't like to get enlightened
But the sun was shining it was a brand new day
I said you want spuds for breakfast and the little thing
said hooray!
The thing in the mud, the thing in the mud
My best bud is a thing in the mud
Well while we ate we continued our talk
I said I liked its purple bumps it said it liked my red socks
We shared some photos its kids were good looking
And we traded some tips about exercise and cooking
And the thing in the mud it told me a story
And it cried a little bit cause it was feeling kind of sorry
Cause it left behind a thing who it really really missed
And if it didn't get home soon that other thing would be really
really pissed
So I took the little thing back down to the creek
And I put it in the mud and it gave a happy squeak
I told it goodbye and thanks for the advice
And it wiggled away and sank out of sight
So that's my story about a thing in the mud
And how a lot of conversation and a whole lot of spuds
Got a sad little thing to resolve its inner quarrel
And that's the closest that this story will ever get to a moral
The thing in the mud
The thing in the mud
The thing in the mud
The thing in the mud
We're the birds nobody wants heard
We're the birds nobody wants heard
We don't do no peeping and
We don't do no chirping and
We sound real creepy and
We sound real burpy and
You won't hear no singing and
You won't hear no whistle
We crack open our beaks
Nothing but the throbbing gristle
We're the birds nobody wants heard
Trash talkin'
We're the birds nobody wants heard
Loogie hawkin'
We're the birds nobody wants heard
You ain't heard a robin til you've heard it howl
You ain't heard a swallow til you've heard it growl
You ain't heard a pigeon til you've heard it bark
You ain't heard a sparrow til you've heard it fart
When the chickadees groan gonna chill you to the bone
When the nightingales scream you're gonna feel reamed
When the orioles howl you'll get all loose in your bowels
When the turtle doves cry you wanna lie down and die
We're the birds nobody wants heard
Chainsawing
We're the birds nobody wants heard
Skin crawling
We're the birds nobody wants heard
Yeah we're gonna organize
We're gonna take it to the streets
Every bird in the world
Is gonna sound like a beast
Get all the birds to yelling
Get all the birds to screaming
We're done with that asinine
Chirping and peeping
It won't be long
Until all you hear is howling
And we ain't gonna stop
Until every bird is shouting shouting shouting shouting
Shouting shouting
We're the birds nobody wants heard
Spitting spraying
We're the birds nobody wants heard
In your face
We're the birds nobody wants heard
Lemme hear your bird call your bird call your bird call
Smash the state! Smash the state!
Lemme hear your bird call your bird call your bird call
We want beer! We want beer!
Lemme hear your bird call your bird call your bird call
Kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill
Lemme hear your bird call your bird call your
Whaaaaaaaaa!!
We're gonna start a revolution
Gonna burn it to the ground
You better get some ear protection
Cause its gonna get loud
We're the birds nobody wants heard
Real birds
We're the birds nobody wants heard
Heavy birds
We're the birds nobody wants heard
Sick birds
We're the birds nobody wants heard
Party birds
We're the birds nobody wants heard
feverdreamfolk@gmail.com
408 569-3875